


Someone To Talk To

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, First Kiss, Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e08, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 07:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21453940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: After his talk with Bobby, Eddie reaches out to Buck, knowing the two of them have a lot to talk about.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 36
Kudos: 432





	Someone To Talk To

Eddie's hands shake as they grip his steering wheel. He knows be should go home. He should go be with Christopher. But he's on edge. It's worse knowing that his only outlet isn't an option anymore. 

Lena's words ring through his head, about how he needs to talk to someone. Sure, he'd talked to Bobby but that's not enough. He needs a friend. 

He knows he fucked up at being Lena's friend. He'd used her as an outlet for his frustration but hadn't been much of a friend in return. But there's still one person he can talk to. 

He needs Buck. 

He knows Buck can sense something is off with him. Before that only made him want to keep his distance out of fear that Buck would see right through him. 

Which he knows isn't fair considering the shit he gave Buck about not being able to talk to him

Now he can but he's still been holding back. He needs to fix that before things get fucked up again.

But he still doesn't feel up to talking about it. He just needs Buck around. To show him things are truly okay first. 

He thanks God for his new truck being more technologically advanced than his old one and reads off a text for it to send to Buck, asking him to come over. 

It's not until he has Buck's answer of yes that Eddie relaxes. He should have known Buck would agree. They're friends, and Buck loves spending time with Christopher. 

He stops by Buck's favorite diner on the way and grabs them some take out. Things are usually easier with food involved. 

Buck's car is in the driveway when Eddie gets home, parking next to him. Buck's not in it. He must be inside already. 

Eddie locks his truck and walks into the house, finding Buck and Christopher on the couch. They both turn towards when, matching smiles on their faces. That's a sight he could really get used to coming home to. 

"Dad!"

"Hey buddy." Eddie leans down and kisses the side of his head, ruffling his hair. "Buck."

"Do I get a kiss too?" Buck teases. 

It's a flippant statement, Eddie knows. But it still fills Eddie with longing he's been trying to ignore. He rolls his eyes and shoves Buck's shoulder gently. 

Buck pouts, and god Eddie really does want to kiss those lips. 

"That's not a kiss, Dad," Christopher says. 

And now Eddie really doesn't have a choice. He leans down and kisses Buck's forehead. "I'm glad you're here."

Buck smiles, wide and bright. "Me too."

"I have food," Eddie tells them. "I stopped by Joe's on the way home and grabbed some dinner."

"I thought I smelled their egg rolls," Buck says, looking down at the bag and licking his lips. 

"If only you looked at other things with that much desire," Eddie mutters.

Of course Buck hears him. "What?"

"Nothing." Eddie clears his throat and turns towards the kitchen. What the hell is wrong with him? "You two get in here before the food gets cold."

"Coming Dad!"

Eddie starts gathering plates and napkins, and startles when he feels a hand on his hip. Fingers brush along Eddie's exposed skin as Buck leans in close, face innocent as he asks, "Can I help you with anything?"

Eddie takes a deep breath to calm himself, but only makes things worse when he catches the scent of Buck's cologne. Eddie didn't even know he _ wore _ cologne. 

Buck squeezes his lip, frowning at him in concern, "Eddie?"

Eddie closes his eyes for a moment, trying to ground himself, before opening them and turning to Buck with a smile, causing Buck to step back. Eddie tries not to miss the contact. 

He holds out the plates and napkins. "Can you take these to the table while I get drinks?"

"Sure." Buck takes them, his fingers brushing against Eddie's as he pulls back. Had they always touched this much and Eddie just never noticed? Or was it new?

Sure they've always had their small touches that Eddie always found himself wanting to lean into, but these feel more charged. As if they're standing on the edge of something big and terrifying, yet exciting, and waiting to jump. 

As much as Eddie wants to, there's still too much left unsaid between them. Too many things he needs to tell Buck. 

"Water?" Eddie asks him, moving to the fridge. "Or do you want a beer."

"Water's fine," Buck says. He looks over at Christopher. "What about you buddy?"

"Well he's not getting a beer," Eddie jokes.

Buck rolls his eyes, "Obviously not. But you give him juice and milk."

"I want juice," Christopher says. 

"Juice it is," Eddie says. He grabs their drinks, and a bottle of water for himself, before moving to the table. He takes his usual seat next to Buck, across from Christopher. 

"How was your day?" Eddie asks him, as he starts filling up a plate for him. 

"Good," Christopher says. "We had art today."

"Oh well that's fun," Buck says. "I bet you drew something real cool."

Christopher beams at him and points to his folder on the table. "It's there."

Buck wipes his hands on his napkin and reaches for the folder. He pulls out the drawing and puts the folder aside. 

Eddie tries not to be worried about what's there. It's been a few weeks since Christopher has drawn Shannon but that doesn't mean it won't happen. 

"It's our family," Christopher says. 

Buck looks down at it, his eyes wide, before whispering a barely audible, "oh."

Eddie leans in closer to Buck and looks down at the drawing. His own eyes widen when he sees what it is. 

Him and Christopher are there, but so is Buck. In the drawing their hands are linked. Below them reads the words "my family" in big red letters. 

"Do you like it?" Christopher asks, sounding unsure. 

"Yeah buddy," Buck says, smiling over at him. "It's great."

"This is really nice, Chris," Eddie assures him. 

"We were supposed to draw what we love more than anything," Christopher says. "A lot of my friends drew their dogs. But I love you and Buck. We're family."

Eddie doesn't want to deny it. They are. Somewhere along the way Buck has become an integral part of their lives. That's why he had so much trouble with Buck not being around. 

"That's right. We're a family," Eddie says. He doesn't meet Buck's gaze. He can't. He's afraid his feelings will be written all over his face. 

"We are," Buck says, his voice soft. "I'm glad to be part of your family."

Christopher smiles, "I'm glad you are too. Are you happy dad?"

Eddie thinks about everything that's happened. All the pain they've had to endure. His inability to properly handle it, leading him down a darker path than he ever wanted to go down. He's been in so much pain. 

But sitting here with Buck and Christopher, with his family, he _ is _ happy. This is what he's been missing. It's what he has to lose. What he's been putting at risk. He can't keep doing that. He knows that. 

"Dad?"

Eddie blinks, remembering that Christopher asked him a question. He finally meets Buck's gaze. He's watching him closely. He has been a lot lately. Eddie's going to have to explain things soon.

"I am," Eddie says. "I'm with my two favorite guys."

Buck smiles, "So am I."

"Me too," Christopher agrees.

They eat their dinner, listening as Christopher talks about his day and what he's looking forward to this week. He has another sleepover this weekend, something he's been excited about. Eddie has been feeling just as nervous as the first time, but he knows Christopher he will be fine. 

"I can't believe he's doing sleepovers now," Buck says as they clean up after putting Christopher to bed.

"I know," Eddie says. "He did great the first time. It was me that had a hard time. I just kept worrying."

"You're his dad. Of course you worry."

Eddie sighs and leans back against the counter, facing Buck. "It's more than that. He was having nightmares about Shannon, and I just felt like I was failing him. He couldn't even tell me about them because he didn't want to make me sad. So I was worried about that happening."

"I'm sorry," Buck says, guilt etched across his face. "I'm sorry I wasn't here. I didn't know he was having nightmares."

"I know," Eddie says. "And I can't say it's because you weren't here. It was happening before. I just didn't want to make things harder on you."

"I'm your best friend, Eddie. You should be able to talk to me about stuff," Buck tells him. "No matter how hard."

The pointed look he gives Eddie has him wanting to look away. Eddie doesn't. He knows he needs to talk about what's going on. He can't keep hiding things. It's eating him up inside. 

Eddie sinks to the floor, his back against the cabinets and knees to his chest. Buck moves to sit next to him mirroring his position. 

"What is it?" Buck asks. 

"I… I don't even know where to start."

"The beginning is usually a good place," Buck says. 

Eddie takes a deep breath and nods. He talks. He tells Buck about Shannon, about how angry he was for her wanting to leave them, and then dying. How he feels guilty for not even realizing Buck and Christopher were missing during the tsunami. How angry he was at Buck because he felt like he was losing him too, and he couldn't handle it. Not after all the close calls and loss he's suffered. How he doesn't feel like he's enough for Christopher, and like he's losing control. How the only place he's felt in control is when he's fighting. 

Buck's face hardens as he talks about the last part, but he remains silent. Even after Eddie stops talking. The silence drags on, amping up Eddie's nerves. 

Finally, unable to take any more, Eddie breaks the silence. "Will you please say something?"

"What do you want me to say?" Buck asks, his tone careful.

"Anything," Eddie says. "Yell. Scream. Tell me what an idiot I am. Say something."

"I'm sorry."

That hadn't been what Eddie was expecting. "What?"

"I'm sorry," Buck says. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you and Christopher when you needed me."

Eddie sighs. Of course Buck would blame himself. "Buck…"

Buck shakes his head, "Don't. If I had been here for you then maybe you wouldn't do something so fucking stupid as joining a fight club. Seriously Eddie?"

"There it is," Eddie mutters. 

"Don't act like I don't have a reason to be angry. You could have been seriously hurt, okay? Or worse. You could have lost Christopher."

Eddie flinches, "I'm sorry. I was just so angry. And hitting something sounded pretty good."

"We'll get you a punching bag," Buck mutters. His brow furrows. "Wait, is that the reason you forgave me? Because you were into sketchy shit?"

"Not the only one," Eddie says. "I didn't like being mad at you. I missed you. I just wanted you back."

"You'll always have me," Buck says, knocking their shoulders together. "We're family."

Eddie reaches over and takes Buck's hand. It's amazing how such a small gesture can feel so big. "We are."

His eyes lift to meet Buck's, and he finds him much closer. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"

Eddie is about to shake his head, the denial on his lips, but he stops himself. "Is now really the time?"

"We've both been through a lot," Buck says. "I understand if you're not ready. But if you are, I'm here. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Not again."

There are so many things that be wants to say, but the words get caught in his throat. So he decides to act instead. He leans in, pressing his lips to Buck's in a soft kiss. "Was that okay?"

Buck smiles, soft and fond. His hand coming up to cup his cheek. "More than okay."

Eddie kisses him again, just as softly as the first time. Until Buck's hand tangles in his hair and he tugs him closer. It's so easy to fail into it, losing himself in the feeling of Buck's lips moving against his. It's everything he's imagined and more. 

When they pull back, both panting as they try to catch their breath, Eddie looks into Buck's bright blue eyes and smiles. "I love you."

The smile he gets from Buck takes his breath away as much as their kisses have. Eddie knows they both have their own issues to work through, but for the first time in months his mind is silent, at ease. He knows they'll be okay, and that whatever they have to face they'll do it together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments make my day ♥  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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